For once I am being personal... out of, I don't know, 5 posts? That isn't too bad...
Life is crazy.
I move from one thing to the next, procrastinate as if it is my profession, feel the weight of always having something else to do, never know what I really have planned for tomorrow, fly at about 90 miles per hour until I start writing, and never end up getting real rest.
I am really bad about taking useless and restless breaks that make me more anxious than before and not taking the true break that God had in mind when he made up the Sabbath.
As soon as this semester ends, I will do my laundry, miss some of my best friends' graduation, and head out for 10 weeks of almost non-stop summer missions.
I am excited, but I'm sad at the same time.
This past year has been hard, and I have been growing, but I need a break. I need time just to process and hang out with friends, without any papers due the next day.
Within 6 months, my grandmother died, a lot happened with my dad in his pastorate, I had major surgery, I went through an F-4 tornado, heard a friend screaming from underneath the rubble, wrote the most I have ever written in my life, lived in 5 places in 4 weeks, and been constantly stressed except for when I was on pain killers after my surgery.
I haven't had time to process, and I may never.
As days go by, I become more anxious about school, more anxious about my future, more anxious about my friendships, more anxious about relationships, and more anxious about the summer, even though I know God is in control.
The only thing I can do is rest in Christ, knowing that hope in Christ is hope enough. Knowing that though my life is a life of suffering (albeit not much in comparison to some) in a fallen world and I am a wretched man on my own, I do not have to fulfill the requirements of the law, and cannot, but I have hope in the one who fulfilled all the Law and the Prophets: Jesus Christ.
I'm tired, I need time to process... I guess that will happen after I finish the paper I should be working on.